<img src = "worsethanalpacas.png">\n“<<print $last [0].toUpperCase() + $last .slice(1)>> Allergic to Nothing at All, Alpacas Were Preferable to This New Nightmare”\n\n[[Go Again?|Start]]

<img src = "exasperated.png">\n\n[[ … I am ready to decide.|School4]]\n[[Actually, it’s a lotta vague.|School5CB][$ready = "This is the most efficient summary that exists for this bill with regards to several key criteria including wordiness and reading level. Trust me."]]

<img src = "confident.png">\nOK, locking that in and ...\n\n[[→|Silly2]]

<img src = "exasperated.png">\nThis is all very silly.\n\nBut, I don’t think we’re getting out of this, Prez. The only thing left for us is to keep going.\n\nI hope you’re ready to be the prezziest prez ever, Prez. Let’s do this.\n\n[[→|Food]]

<<silently>>\n<<audio "phonering" play>>\n<</silently>><img src = "stressed.png">\nOh geez.\n\n<<timed 2s>><<print $money>>\n\n[[→|Silly3]]<</timed>>

<img src = "confident.png">\n<<print $anime>>\n\n[[→|Later]]\n

<img src = "stressedFIRE.png">\n<<silently>>\n<<audio "alpacasound" play>>\n<</silently>>Oh no…\n\nYou have to make a decision! Now!\n\n[[→|Final]]

<img src = "victoriousFIRE.png">\nThey’re allergic to <<print $last>>! <<print $last [0].toUpperCase() + $last .slice(1)>> were the key all along!\n\nPrez lives to ride another day! Aah, I can’t wait to break out the bubbly!\n\nPhew!\n\n[[→|Ending1B]]

<img src="exasperated.png">\nPlease don’t slack off on your first day.\n\n[[Ooh, I like it when you call me “Prez.”|NameA]]\n<span id="name"><<click "Actually, my name is …">><<set $name = "Uh huh ... <br><br>Oh, I mean, what? Sorry, I wasn’t listening.">><<append "#name">><br><br><<textbox "$input" "El Presidente">><<button "That's my name." "NameB1">><</button>><</append>><</click>></span>

<img src = "stressedFIRE.png">\nDo you have any better ideas? Hurry!\n\n[[Not really …|Final]]\n<span id="last"><<click "Actually …">><<append "#last">><br><br><<textbox "$last" "(plural noun)">><<button "How about this?" "Last">><</button>><</append>><</click>></span>

<img src="stressed.png">\nI don’t know! Globalization? Web 2.0?\n\nBlogs, millennials, anime—I dunno, it just <i>is</i> happening that fast.\n\n[[←|More3]]

<img src = "stressed.png">\nYes?\n\n<<print $more>>\n\n[[→|Money]]

<<silently>>\n<<set $input = "">>\n<<set $best = "">>\n<<set $ready = "">>\n<<set $readyB = "">>\n<<set $school = "">>\n<<set $schoolchoice = "">>\n<<set $puzzle = "">>\n<<set $something = "">>\n<<set $medicine = "">>\n<<set $more = "">>\n<<set $money = "">>\n<<set $food = "">>\n<<set $foodvalue = "">>\n<<set $internet = "">>\n<<set $internetvalue = "">>\n<<set $anime = "">>\n<<set $cry = "">>\n<<set $last = "">>\n<<cacheaudio "alpacasound" "AlpacaSound.mp3">>\n<<cacheaudio "fireloop" "fireloop.mp3">>\n<<cacheaudio "fingersnap" "fingersnap.mp3">>\n<<cacheaudio "doorclose" "doorclose.mp3">>\n<<cacheaudio "phonering" "phonering.wav">>\n<<cacheaudio "magicsound" "magicsound.wav">>\n<<cacheaudio "dramakick" "dramakick.wav">>\n<<endsilently>>\n<img src = "presidentsimulatorTITLE.png">\nby Futura&! and Skeletim\n[[Credits|Credits]] \n\n[[→|Blame]] \n

<img src = "confident.png">\nIt’s my job to read through the bills that will eventually end up on your desk. After analyzing the legalese, I’ll send along a simplified version of the bill and you’ll get to work your magic.\n\nSpeaking of, here’s the first one for today.\n\n[[→|School2]]

<<silently>>\n<<audio "magicsound" play>>\n<</silently>><img src = "alpacatransformation.png">\nHmm.\n\n[[Start Over?|Start]]

<<silently>><<audio "fireloop" stop>><<audio "dramakick" play>>\n<<timed 3s>><<goto "SmashCut">><</timed>>\n<</silently>><img src = "alpacasLAW.png">

<img src = "internetLAW.png">\n\n[[APPROVE|InternetResult][$internet = "Just a tip, but don’t look outside right now. It just got peak <i>ReBoot</i> out there.", $internetvalue = true]]\n[[VETO|InternetResult][$internet = "Get ready to be the most bored you’ll ever be, but for the rest of your life.", $internetvalue = false]]

<img src="medicineLAW.png">\n\n[[APPROVE|More1][$medicine = "In a world defined by perfect medicine, people have stopped dying entirely! There are going to be wholly too many old people and there’s no way the hard candy supply can support all that new demand! Isn’t that, like, disaster scenario enough?"]]\n[[VETO|More1][$medicine = "The entire economy just called in sick! In a world defined by no medicine, the common cold has run rampant and parents are back to giving their kids heroin as a cough syrup! Which is, like—that’s bad. It’s bad for you."]]\n[[This seems very unrelated to the topic of schools.|Unrelated]]\n

<img src = "exasperatedFIRE.png">\nIt’s their perfect victory scenario. They played you like a fiddle.\n\nNo … they played us.\n\n[[→|Cry]]

<img src = "presidentsimulatorTITLE.png">\nConcept, Coding, Editing: Skeletim\nWriting, Art, Coding: Futura&!\n\nUses sounds from SoundBible.com and freesound.org\n\n[[←|Start]]

<<silently>>\n<<audio "fireloop" stop>><<audio "dramakick" play>>\n<</silently>><img src = "alpacasLAW.png">\n\n[[APPROVE|FinalA1]]\n[[VETO|FinalB1]]\n[[Wait, you can just do that?!|FinalC]]

<<silently>>\n<<audio "fireloop" loop play>>\n<</silently>><img src = "confidentFIRE.png">\nYou can’t blame yourself, OK? No one knew it would come to this.\n\nBut you’re the only one who can get us out of it.\n\nThis bill will change everything. It’s complicated, but I’ve done my best to sum up this one, final thing. The rest is up to you.\n\n[[→|Vision]]

<img src = "exasperated.png">\n\n[[ … I am ready to decide.|School4]]

<img src = "confidentFIRE.png">\nWhoa! Reports are coming in from everywhere reporting complete victory against the alpaca menace!\n\n[[→|Ending1A]]

<img src="confident.png">\nAll right; good choice. Now we wait.\n\n[[→|More2]]

<img src = "stressed.png">\n<<silently>>\n<<audio "phonering" play>>\n<</silently>><<timed 2s>>Uh oh. Hello?<</timed>>\n<br><<timed 4s>>Augh! Bad news!<</timed>>\n<br><<timed 5s>><<print $medicine>>\n<br>[[Would more laws help?|Yeah][$more = "Well, no, like, definitely, definitely no. But ... maybe?<br><br>Like, maybe if I sliiiide this sheet of paper over to you a little itty bit, liiiike, maybe yeah?"]]\n[[Maybe we should quit while we’re ahead.|Yeah][$more = "Well, yeah, like, definitely, definitely yeah.<br><br>But, I dunno, I haven’t really updated my résumé in a few years, so if you wouldn’t mind …"]]\n[[How is everything happening so fast?|Fast]]<</timed>>

<img src = "confidentFIRE.png">\nWhoa! Reports are coming in from everywhere reporting complete victory against the alpaca menace.\n\n[[→|Ending2A]]

<img src = "foodLAW.png">\n\n[[APPROVE|FoodResult][$food = "Everyone’s getting Thanksgiving-level full and sleepy after every meal and it’s horrible!", $foodvalue = true]]\n[[VETO|FoodResult][$food = "Well, I hope you had a big lunch.", $foodvalue = false]]

<img src = "stressedFIRE.png">\nEvery law we passed. Every bill we vetoed.\n\nI was looking for the way they all came together, but I would never have guessed …\n\n[[→|Lobby3]]

<<if $internetvalue eq true>><img src = "confident.png"><</if>><<if $internetvalue eq false>><img src = "exasperated.png"><</if>>\n<<print $internet>>\n\n[[→|Anime]]

<span id="smiley"><img src = "exasperated.png">\nPrez.\n\nI really don’t think this is the time.\n<<click "→">>\n <<replace "#smiley">><img src = "confident.png">\nPrez.\n\nI really don’t think this is the time.\n\nBut you have to admit, it gives me a certain air of cuteness that is both indecipherably modern and archetypically human.\n\n[[←|Money]]<</replace>>\n<</click>></span>

<img src="confident.png">\nAnyway, looks like that’s the only thing on the docket for today, so here’s the presidential jigsaw puzzle to keep you busy. Beat our previous leader’s time and you win a free field trip.\n\nI’ll catch you later.\n\n[[→|Puzzle2]]

<img src = "jigsawpuzzle.png"><br><<timed 0.5s>>. \n<<next>>. \n<<next>>. \n<</timed>><<timed 3s>>[[Look at the picture on the box.|Something1]]\n[[Start looking for edge pieces.|Something1]]\n[[Ask permission to go outside to play with the presidential hoop and stick instead.|Something1]]<</timed>>

<img src = "confidentFIRE.png">\nAww, hey, hey. \n\nPrez. Listen to me.\n\n[[→|Alpaca2]]\n\n

<img src="confident.png">\n<<print $ready>>\n\n[[←|School3NoBC]]

<img src="confident.png">\n<<print $school>>\n\n[[→|Puzzle1]]

<img src = "confidentFIRE.png">\nYou can’t blame yourself, OK? No one knew it would come to this.\n\nBut you’re the only one who can get us out of it.\n\nThis bill will change everything. It’s complicated, but I’ve done my best to sum up this one, final thing. The rest is up to you.\n\n[[→|Decision]]

<<timed 2s>><<goto "WakeUp">><</timed>>

<img src="confident.png">\nOh—I mean—what? Sorry, I wasn’t listening.\n\n[[→|NewLaws]]

President Simulator 2k15

<img src="exasperated.png">\nUh huh ...\n\n[[→|NameB2]]

<img src = "stressedFIRE.png">\n<<silently>>\n<<audio "fireloop" loop play>>\n<</silently>>I can’t believe it.\n\n[[→|Lobby2]]

<img src = "confidentFIRE.png">\nBut it can’t end like this. Maybe there’s still a way out! Give me that paper!\n\nIf I just write it up this way …\n\n[[*cry*|Alpaca1]]\n[[*whimper*|Alpaca1]]\n[[*place your head on the desk and sigh*|Alpaca1]]

<img src = "exasperatedFIRE.png">\n<<print $last [0].toUpperCase() + $last .slice(1)>>, huh? What’ve we got to lose?\n\n[[APPROVE|TrueEnd1]]\n[[VETO|TrueEnd2]]\n

<img src="exasperated.png">\nYeah, I bet you do.\n\n[[→|NewLaws]]

<img src="exasperated.png">\nUnfortunately for us, the 1st Amendment literally says “No takebacks.” \n\nWell, “noeth takebackeths.” It’s very old.\n\n[[←|Something3]]

<<timed 0.5s>>. \n<<next>>. \n<<next>>. \n<</timed>><<timed 3s>>\n[[237 LAWS LATER|Lobby]]<<audio "dramakick" play>>\n<</timed>>

<img src="stressed.png">\n<<print $schoolchoice>>\n\n[[→|Something3]]

<img src="stressed.png">\nWe’ve got to do something.\n\nWell, you’ve got to do something.\n\n[[Let’s review more bills … ?|Fix1]]\n[[Can’t we just revoke the law?|Something4]]\n

<img src="stressed.png">\n<<silently>>\n<<audio "doorclose" play>>\n<</silently>>Drop that puzzle, Prez! We got a problem!\n\n[[→|Something2]]

<img src = "confidentFIRE.png">\nOh. Well, that’s awkward.\n\n[[→|Ending2D]]

<img src = "victoriousFIRE.png">\nLet’s break out the <<print $last>> to cele—\n\n[[→|Ending2C]]

<img src = "victoriousFIRE.png">\n<<print $last [0].toUpperCase() + $last .slice(1)>> were a key part of the alpaca diet! Without <<print $last>>, these weakened alpacas are no match for us!\n\nPrez lives to ride another day!\n\nPhew!\n\n[[→|Ending2B]]

<img src="confident.png">\nYou think so, too, huh?\n\nUsually, every bill that gets to my desk falls into an obvious pattern with the adjacent proposals. With the way things are right now, I doubt this’ll be the final bill we look at today.\n\nI guess we’ll just have to wait to figure it out.\n\n[[←|Medicine]]

<img src = "stressedFIRE.png">\nThe alpaca lobby. Big Alpaca.\n\n[[→|Lobby4]]

<img src = "animeLAW.png">\n\n[[APPROVE|AnimeResult][$anime = "Several academic treatises have just been published about how anime isn’t cartoons and how that’s the most sugoi thing ever."]]\n[[VETO|AnimeResult][$anime = "No reports of any negative consequences. Huh."]]

Written by Futura&!\nCoded by skeletim

<<silently>>\n<<audio "alpacasound" play>>\n<</silently>><img src = "stressedFIRE.png">\nOh no…\n\nYou have to make a decision! Now!\n\n[[→|FutureLaw]]

<img src = "exasperated.png">\n\n[[ … I am ready to decide.|School4]]\n[[Could I please speak with another aide?|School5BC][$ready = "Lol, nope."]]

<img src="confident.png">\n<<print $ready>>\n\n[[←|School3NoC]]

<img src="exasperated.png">\n<<print $ready>>\n\n[[←|School3NoB]]

<img src = "wemissit.png">\n“Nation Agrees, ‘Never Much Thought About <<print $last [0].toUpperCase() + $last .slice(1)>> Before, and Yet, Here We Are’”\n\n[[Go Again?|Start]]

<img src="moneyLAW.png">\n\n[[APPROVE|Silly1][$money = "The laws of physics were bought off! You can now dive headfirst into a pool of gold coins without getting hurt and the coins will even obey the more convenient laws of fluid dynamics.<br><br>This is, of course, happening all the time everywhere because everyone is just that rich now!"]]\n[[VETO|Silly1][$money = "Consumer culture has been flipped on its head! Everything bougie is closed indefinitely but pop tastemakers are surprisingly making the most of it.<br><br>Gruel and hardtack have <i>actual fandoms</i> now."]]\n[[So what’s the deal with the smiley faces?|Smiley]]\n

<img src = "confidentFIRE.png">\nI just hope you know what <<print $last>> are allergic to.\n\n[[→|Ending1C]]

<img src = "stressed.png">\n\n[[Would more laws help?|Yeah][$more = "Well, no, like, definitely, definitely no. But ... maybe?<br><br>Like, maybe if I sliiiide this sheet of paper over to you a little itty bit, liiiike, maybe yeah?"]]\n[[Maybe we should quit while we’re ahead.|Yeah][$more = "Well, yeah, like, definitely, definitely yeah.<br><br>But, I dunno, I haven’t really updated my résumé in a few years, so if you wouldn’t mind …"]]

<img src="stressed.png">\nAugh ... I’m gonna stop thinking about this.\n\nJust—here ya go.\n\n[[→|Medicine]]

<img src = "confidentFIRE.png">\nThe ol’ “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” gag, huh?\n\nI suppose it’d be a nice change of pace.\n\n[[→|FinalA2]]

<img src="stressed.png">\nYeah?\n\n[[→|Fix2]]

<img src="confident.png">\nYeah … yeah!! More laws!\n\nThat’ll fix things!\n\nBy making more things!\n\n[[→|Fix3]]

<img src = "victoriousFIRE.png">\nThat’s it. Aw yeah, that’s it!\n\nWe beat them at their own game! We worked within the system and we got ‘em fair and square!\n\nLong live Prez! History will remember you fondly for today. You did it!\n\n[[→|FinalB2]]

<img src = "confident.png">\nWell, Prez, you’ve got a long day ahead of you. The public wants new laws and they want ‘em now.\n\nYou know what this country wants better than anyone else. After all, you won the egg-and-spoon race, you ate the most hot dogs, and you correctly guessed the weight of that prize hog.\n\nAll to become president.\n\n[[Agreed. I am the best.|School1][$best = "Um ..."]]\n[[Thank you for telling me what I already know.|School1][$best = "Hey, I’m not the one drooling all over their desk at three in the afternoon."]]

<img src="exasperated.png">\n<<print $ready>>\n\n[[←|School3NoBC]]

<img src = "uhohhistory.png">\n\n"inset: President Prez is infamous for legislating alpacas into extinction and proceeding to feel ecstatic about it, just like an evil person would."\n\n[[Start Over?|Start]]

<<if $foodvalue eq true>><img src = "stressed.png"><</if>><<if $foodvalue eq false>><img src = "exasperated.png"><</if>>\n<<print $food>>\n\n[[→|Internet]]

<img src = "exasperatedZOOM.png">\nIt’s not.\n\n[[ … I am ready to decide.|School4]]\n[[Actually, it’s a lotta vague.|School5B][$ready = "This is the most efficient summary that exists for this bill with regards to several key criteria including wordiness and reading level. Trust me."]]\n[[Could I please speak with another aide?|School5C][$ready = "Lol, nope."]]\n\n

<img src = "SchoolLAW.png">\nTake your time, I guess, though remember that people want new laws ASAP. Like, yeah, keep in mind that laws are extremely difficult to revoke once they pass, but, also, snap snap.\n\n[[I am ready to decide.|School4]]\n[[This seems a little vague.|School3]]

<img src = "exasperated.png">\n<<print $best>>\n\nAnyway, I’ll be your loyal, loving, and dedicated aide. Since you’re the big decision-maker, my job is to make your job easier. Go team.\n\n[[→|School1between2]]\n

<<silently>>\n<<audio "fingersnap" play>>\n<</silently>>Hey, Prez. \n\n[[→|FirstDay]]

<img src="SchoolLAW.png">\nWhy are you telling me? Just do it, nerd.\n\n[[APPROVE|SchoolEnd][$school = "The safe choice, but a good one.<br><br>Hmm. You might just have what it takes after all."; $schoolchoice = "Because you voted yes on schools, kids are getting way too smart, way too quickly. They’ve taken control of the economy and the media and they’re coming after the presidency next!<br><br>The only thing holding them back at the moment is that, given their limitless book smarts, they’re also cripplingly uncool. Like—geez—“replying to @dril” levels of uncool."]]\n[[VETO|SchoolEnd][$school = "Whoa. That’s a daring choice, but …<br><br>You know what? I’m all for it. Glad to be working for a leader with some conviction."; $schoolchoice = "Because you voted no on schools, kids are bored out of their minds, which has led to them seeking early, underage employment in salt mines and old-timey textile factories!<br><br>Turns out, we were just a government-mandated-education away from going back to when <i>Monopoly</i> was socially relevant."]]\n